Two years ago when I first started to write this blog I thought I had found my passion. I always knew I loved to write. I just never believed in myself enough to write. When that changed and I hit publish on my first ever blog post part of me felt like I had found the answer.
I was writing. I was connecting. My words were being read. In that moment I felt exhilarated. Here I was holding my passion and stringing it out with every single word. But passion can be a fickle thing. It is hardly a switch that can be flicked on or off. Even though I certainly did think it could when I published that first blog post.
Over these two years I have learned that passion is far from on or off. Passion is hard work. On the days when I have been up all night with sick little boys, the laundry is under attack from the washing and there are only two tomatoes and old bread in my fridge because I haven’t managed the shopping yet, passion seems impossible.
So instead of being kind to myself on such days, or weeks even, I retreated to a place where the only voice I could hear was no longer of passion, but my ego. You are not good enough. You have fooled people for too long. Your game is up. You are not a writer.
So the words became less. The connection became distant. The moments I judged and doubted myself became more. Until I stopped and asked myself: why am I doing this again? Ah yes, passion. That is why I am here. That is why I started. Right in that moment I felt like I was back at the foot of the mountain staring at the impossible.
The impossible can be heavy to carry. Until one morning I came across this video on my social media and something changed. Listening to Elizabeth Gilbert and my self-doubt began to shift. The impossible slowly became lighter, with possibility taking its place.
Passion doesn’t need to get me out of bed in the morning. Curiosity does. Passion will not always quench my ego. But curiosity will. On the days when I can’t find my way, I will seek solace in my curiosity and let that be my way. As I turn the page and start the next chapter, the third year of this blog, I will let curiosity drive my words. In the moments when I forget or feel heavy under the strain, I will come here and remember.
My blog is two. In that I find my humility and my gratitude. I cannot thank my readers enough. While this blog may be a canvas of my words, it would be empty without the heart, the connection and the love my readers share with my words.
Last year when my blog turned one I teased the idea that maybe for my next blog birthday I would organise champagne and cupcakes as a way to celebrate. You know what? That still sounds like a perfect way to celebrate. So if you would like to join me for a coffee, champagne, cupcakes and lunch at my favourite restaurant, let me know in the comments below: do you want to catch up for coffee?
I have made a reservation for five, so I would love to host four guests with my compliments, to celebrate always Josefa turning two. Lunch will be held in Melbourne. Transportation and parking will be the responsibility of each winner. Please only enter if you are available on Saturday October 18 for lunch. Entries to join me for lunch close midnight Sunday October 12.
Like always Josefa on Facebook – that would be nice. Share this post on your social media – that would be nice too. Leave a comment below even if you can’t make it to lunch – I would love that the most xx
Oh and I am just smitten over the blogs new look
and especially this little video about me – have you watched it yet?
Thank you for being part of my journey.