Pieces of Me

Forgive your past

Forgiveness is something we often reserve only for others. A sacred burial ground we allow others to cross, or in some cases, do not allow them to cross.

Almost as if forgiveness is a barren wasteland we create between ourselves and the hurt that has touched our lives. Sometimes it is far easier to never venture into this wasteland and almost always easier to pretend it does not exist at all. Move on. Strive forward. Keep the past in the past.

Yet what if the only way to move forward is straight through this wasteland. More so, the only way to move forward through forgiveness. To forgive ourselves. Our past.

It is overwhelming to think that we need to forgive ourselves and forgive the past we have taken part in creating. Overwhelming more so that our actions and decisions have taken part in creating any aspect of the past. We cannot possibly be to blame for the moments that have hurt us. The decisions that have given rise to that hurt.

But that is the first step forward, accepting the decisions we make, the choices we have lived by, have shaped part of the life we live. The decisions and choices that we have made. Not others.

Yes, there are many cases where this may not be true, extreme cases more so, but in our everyday lives, with our everyday moments, our choices and our decisions have shaped our past and will shape our future.

Stepping aside from the ego, the hurt, the pride that often stops us from looking in the mirror, we can gain so much more than we allow ourselves the grace to realise.


More often than not, it is only when we are confronted by our own mortality that we consider the humbling prayer of forgiving ourselves, forgiving our past. Realising in that definitive moment what power it can hold over life, when there is no more life to live.

Forgiveness is an act of acceptance. An act of humility. An act of kindness. Acceptance, humility, kindness – these are all values we not only should allow ourselves to live, but owe ourselves to live.

A sense of lightness can come from taking a pause, to forgive our past. Forgiving that one decision, that one thought, that one action and then, letting it go. No longer carrying it through the barren wasteland as a burden invisible for us to see.

Sometimes the past can be on constant repeat in our minds, our hearts. Replaying over and over again the thoughts, the actions, the conversations that tighten around us. Suffocating the air. A moment of forgiveness could unravel the strong hold.

I will not beat myself up for the decisions, the moments, the actions I have taken in the past that weigh me down. Instead I will accept my responsibility in creating the weight. Forgive myself and set the past free. For when it spreads its wings, the past inevitably soars to become our future.

Let it fly.


Do you forgive your past?


Linking up with #IBOT
Catch up on my last blog post Conversations with the Wedding Dress

  • Hello, this is something I have worked on a lot, and… just for today, I’m at ease with the many mistakes of the past, the hurts I’ve caused myself and others. Today is today and tomorrow is ahead, let the past rest in peace.

  • This is something I have difficulty with. I am guilty of replaying a certain event over and over in my head or sometimes ignoring it to make it go away. The ramifications of this event have and will stay with me for the rest of my life. I would like to one day be able to set myself free. I don’t know that I can.

    Sorry that’s a bit heavy!

  • I don’t know if it’s forgiveness I need to employ or just simply coming to terms with my past. This is such a poignant post for me Josefa as right now I’m feeling a little sorry for myself because of things from my past. Things I can’t change, things that have made me who I am today. It’s something that hangs over me all the time, but sometimes claws its way to the very surface impacting my every thought.

  • LydiaCLee

    I need to think about this a bit. Off the top of my head, you can only change what’s ahead (your behaviour, your reactions) so I guess it’s only good to focus on that. What’s done is done. You have to accept your responsibility and role in events but you can’t change it. They say happiness is a poor memory.

  • Self forgiveness is part of my post today but I am trying to figure out how to write about it on a personal level as this is part of the huge work I have done this year. Necessary in order to be free from the weight and the shame of the past xx

  • Vanessa Connor

    I overthink and ruminate about the past way too much. There are certain things I need to forgive myself for, as melodramatic as that sounds because I didn’t understand things about myself (such as being autistic) until an advanced age. I love what you’ve said here about letting the past go to welcome our future.

  • It’s something I struggle with a lot. I struggle to forget things I’ve stuffed up or things I’ve not done or things I have done. For me it kinda goes hand in hand with regret. And you’re very right… we’re far better at forgiving others than we are ourselves.

  • For some things I can do this more easily than others!

  • I am in the midst of quite a few personal challenges right now and forgiveness is high up there for these. I recognise what you are saying and acknowledge its truth. The doing and the acceptance is much slower. Thanks, as always, for a post with many possibilities for consideration! Denyse #teamIBOT

  • There is a great Ben Lee song entitled ‘Forgiveness’ in which he talks about the ‘gift from the tree to the axe that cut it’ and the ‘perfume released from the flower getting stepped on’. I’ve had to choose forgiveness lately for what others have done/said, rather than resentment. And in the process of forgiving I’ve become softer on myself. There is a real gift we give ourselves in forgiving our past – our own choices and the choices of others.

  • I think sometimes it’s harder to forgive ourselves than others. Great post.

  • What a beautiful and thought provoking post. I have a terrible (and very short term) memory which makes remembering my past difficult and so forgiving my past very easy! Sure there are things I would like to change, but I know I can’t change the past, I can only work with what I have today and that can make a positive change for tomorrow. Here’s to forgiveness and going all Frozen “let it go!” x

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