Pieces of Me

The Butterfly and the Storm

If I sit still for long enough, I can feel my mind start to let go. Let go of the heaviness of a year that has pulled, tugged and dragged me through waters of uncertainty and doubt.

When I cast thought to this post, I instantly titled it “Weathering the Storm.” I had a clear image of the photographs that I would take and the words that I would write.

So many things have transpired this year, so many things that right now I still have not found the right words to describe. Life struck battle against my family this year, in ways that have been unrelenting and still have not passed. The turmoil and doubt has rendered me quiet. Silent. I have felt lost in a sea of insecurity. In every essence, as the months of this year have passed, I have felt like I have been weathering the storm.

Yet, just when I felt certain about what I would write, something happened. Last week, on a day when my mind was heavy with thoughts of people I love, being in places and situations that I could not control, something so small happened.

I was in and out of the house all day. Drop offs, pickups, shopping and school runs. Each time I came up the drive way and back into my house, a tiny little butterfly kept hovering near the garage door. The butterfly was insistent. It kept clinging to the door, kept fluttering and fussing as if it wanted to come inside. The butterfly was annoying and a distraction in my overcast day.

The day became busier and the butterfly was forgotten. Late that night, I had woken from falling asleep on PJ’s bed, while reading his bedtime story. I came down the stairs to switch off the Christmas lights. Half way down the stairs, gently fluttering in front of me, was the butterfly.

My heart melted.

The butterfly and the storm

I don’t know why. It seemed that this little creature was determined to show me something. Determined to come inside and be closer to me. In that moment, I let go of the day and gave in to the butterfly.

Curious, I consulted Google late in the night to entertain the idea of what this butterfly could mean. In the darkness, with only the dim light of the computer screen I read.

Imagine the whole of your life changing to such an extreme you are unrecognizable at the end of the transformation. Herein lies the deepest symbolic lesson of the butterfly. She asks us to accept the changes in our lives as casually as she does. The butterfly unquestioningly embraces the chances of her environment and her body.

The words were not profound. They were not poetic. They may not even be true. But they resonated. Instantly. It felt like the butterfly came into my house for me to realise something. Realise that I cannot hold on so tight. Holding on so tightly to life, its consequences and the path it takes, has left me breathless.

The butterfly and the storm

The year that is almost over has taught me many lessons. The most important lesson has not been how to weather the storm. The most important lesson that I have learnt this year is that – nothing is what it seems.

 

My words are my new life. But even new things need to take respite. My blog will have new posts again in the New Year. Till then I will be chasing butterflies with my boys, in the sun, with the waves crashing on the shore. I can smell the salty water and feel the warmth of that sun already.

No eloquence of words can do justice to the gratitude I have for my readers. No words.

I wish you all a summer in the sun, chasing butterflies, with the ones you love. 

  • mumabulous

    Beautiful sentiments and beautiful photos. I wish you and your family happiness and healing for the New Year. Love

  • http://mylittlesunshinehouse.com/ Zanni Louise

    Beautiful post. I resolve to do the same after Friday
    x

  • LydiaCLee

    lovely!

  • Sophie Allen

    Beautiful.

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family, and look forward to seeing you around again next year.

  • Beck

    Such a beautiful post..Merry Christmas and may your summer days be filled with love and hugs xxx

  • Jodi @Mummyhood101

    Simply beautiful Josefa. :) xo

  • http://essentiallyjess.com/ EssentiallyJess

    Absolutely beautiful Josefa.
    My life has been filled with butterflys lately too, now that you mention in. I saw the most beautiful one yesterday in colours I had never seen before.
    Unfortunately, I’ve also had a lot fly under my car when I’ve been driving. Last week I was getting most upset at the amount of butterfly’s I’ve accidentally slaughtered. I hope that has no significant meaning! :/

  • http://www.redcliffestyle.com/ Rachel from Redcliffe Style

    Gorgeous post! I’m not going to be able to see a butterfly and not wonder xx

  • A Parenting Life

    Beautiful post. I love butterflies. I marvel at the beauty and how it is only here for such a short time. I hope that the new year is easier for you and filled with fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

  • Loree

    How strange that we were both thinking of butterflies today but for totally different reasons.

    • http://www.alwaysjosefa.com/ Josefa @always Josefa

      it is funny how the Universe works sometimes xx

  • http://coloursofsunset.worpdress.com/ Aroha @ Colours of Sunset

    I will think of those words every time I see a butterfly. Your words brought tears to my eyes. It seems it’s been a tough time for a lot of us. I hope 2013 is the change we all need. xo

    • http://www.alwaysjosefa.com/ Josefa @always Josefa

      thank you, I will always look at butterlfies differently now xx

  • Rebecca Thompson

    Wow….I would see a butterfly as a butterfly and not stop to think about it. What a lovely post. What a lovely way to learn something. What a lovely thought.
    I hope the new year brings you peace and joy :)
    Becc via #ibot

  • Alicia-OneMotherHen

    I find it wonderful that you have taken something from the sight of that butterfly, and made me more aware of accepting the changes. Have a safe, happy and healthy christmas and new year.

  • Meagan @ cider in the sun

    This is just beautiful Josefa.. I am grateful that the butterfly came when she did.. seems like you just needed that nudge. I am sorry for the trials and tribulations but I do hope you have a most wonderful Christmas and new year

    xx

  • Catherine RodieBlagg

    How gorgous! I wonder if the fly that’s been buzzing round my head driving me crazy is trying to show me something too! xx

  • http://www.middleagedmama.com.au/ Janet aka Middle Aged Mama

    We’ve had one of THOSE years too. Enjoy your break xxx

  • rhian @melbs

    What lovely words. I hope that the New Year is all you wish it to be.

  • Rita

    Another beautiful post so nicely written Josefa. My mother always told me that butterflies bring with them good luck and positive changes… May the new year brings all things positive to you.

    • http://www.alwaysjosefa.com/ Josefa @always Josefa

      I like the idea of good luck and positive change, I’ll hold onto that xx

  • http://www.jaylatte.com/ Jayne

    So lovely that you could find solace in your persistent little butterfly.

    It’s been a tough year all around for so many of my friends. I hope you find peace in the new year.

  • http://minsmash.wordpress.com/ MinsMash

    What a beautiful post – so perfectly written. I really enjoyed reading it! I’m so glad that the butterfly was persistant and that your heart finally melted and led you to find that beautiful quote (or paragraph of words). I hope you have a wonderful holiday chasing butterflies with your boys! Merry Christmas and may 2013 be a good one for you. xo

  • TeganMC

    A beautiful post. If only we could all be persistent with and ok with our change as the humble butterfly.

  • Danya Banya

    Merry Christmas Josefa. Enjoy your break. A brand new year is heralding.

  • Lee

    It’s worth holding on tight to some things…your children for one; most important of all. Cherish every moment you have with them…whether in their presence or not. Your children are what they seem…precious little angels to be loved and protected as best you/

  • http://www.jfgibson.com.au/ Jodi Gibson

    Beautiful words, beautifully written. Enjoy your summer and see you in 2013 with hope for a year full of clarity. x

  • LydiaCLee

    Lovely post – haves wonderful summer. May the waves of happiness lap at your shores.

  • http://www.themisscinders.com/ miss.cinders

    What a beautiful post. Everything has meaning, but when it’s so persistent on being seen, you need to really look and listen.

    Enjoy spending your summer with your boys :)

    Merry Christmas Josefa x

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths

    I hope the butterfly means that more good things are to come to you in the new year Josefa. Beautiful post, as always – enjoy your time with your family, looking forward to reading more in 2013!

    • http://www.alwaysjosefa.com/ Josefa @always Josefa

      thank you Kirsty, more adventures await and maybe more butterflies? xx

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