December 24 was my last blog post. Almost five weeks ago. Without giving it too much thought this might be the longest I have paused with my writing. It has been a good pause. A really good, soul clearing, mind shifting pause. A pause that has in all its capacity given me the chance to shed the ties of last year and start the new year with a feeling of abandon.
A good feeling of abandon. A feeling that the person I was last year has found redemption over the past few weeks, redemption for all the burden that I carried throughout last year and is now weightless and ready.
This summer has been like no other. No whirlwind holidays away. No anxious countdown to school starting again. I have spent my time shifting water. Literally shifting water in that I cleaned our house in a way that was twelve years overdue. Scrubbing, clearing, decluttering. Days spent elbow deep in buckets of water. And while the house was cleaned I shifted water in my mind and with less thought, in my heart.
We often forget to forgive ourselves, forgive ourselves for the small things that take hold of who we are and how we think. We often never seek redemption for the person we are, but sometimes that is exactly what we need to do. With each curtain I washed and wall I cleaned I worked through and let go of the ties that took hold of me. Shifting water, redeeming the way.
The new year feels different. I feel different. It does not feel like a significant change from one year to the next. It does not feel like an ending or a beginning. It merely feels like time has melted onto itself. Like the raindrops slowly dripping down a window pane, starting at the top as one year and reaching the bottom as another.
When the cleaning ended, the weeks were spent with family, welcoming a new little niece into our lives, being in the moment with the people I love most. Even then as we entertained children at the theatre, at the movies, with carefree bike rides down to the park and precious newborn cuddles I have felt like I was shifting water. Shifting away expectation, shifting through stubborn thoughts and even habits.
What does the year ahead hold? Writing will be my priority. I want to hold onto this feeling of abandon and trust in the Universe and all possibility. Part of me feels like I only ever wrote about trusting the Universe and believing everything is possible, but never succumbed to it.
Maybe my summer of shifting water will become my year of shifting water.
How has your year started?
Disclosure: these tiny little feet belong to my precious newborn niece,
as she is being cuddled in the arms of her adoring Aunty – my sister in law from Sydney
Shifting water makes way for the new and allows us a perspective we forgot we were capable of