Nine Months More

Finding Out About You

The excitement is building in our house as two birthdays draw near. Two little boys are beside themselves, caught up in the eager anticipation. Amidst all the preparations I sometimes catch myself and think how I have gone from placing one candle on each of their cakes to now placing seven candles on one cake and five candles on the other. Despite time passing so quickly over these years, there are still some days that I will never forget.  They are days that form a part of my soul and carve into my life both definition and purpose. The days I will never forget are the days that make me whole and I will never forget the days that I found out about you, the both of you.

Finding out about you

Los Angeles, June 2006. I was feeling dreadful. I was sure it was the huge meatballs we ate the night before in Santa Monica, balls of gooey goodness that were the size of my hand. It took four to five bites before I could finish one. I was sure it was those meatballs that were revisiting me that morning. We were on a mission to Disneyland. We had a huge day ahead of us. So I really couldn’t get sick. Another trip to the toilet – something really wasn’t right. Back into the hotel room and a thought flickered through my mind. Flickered, like something darting across the room and catching sight of it in the corner of your eye. Could I be?

I plan for everything. Whether it is a party, a trip, or what I’m going to clean that day. I plan. So there was no surprise that while we were trying to have a baby I packed a pregnancy test into our luggage. I slowly slid the pregnancy test out of the luggage and wandered back into the bathroom. Sitting there, in the stark fluorescent lighting, I watched two lines slowly appear. Two lines. Two blue lines. Two. That’s what I was. I was now Two.

I still look back on those photos, that day in Disneyland and I smile inside. My heart swells a little remembering that was the first day I met you. The first day I became your mum.

Finding out about you

Melbourne, August 2008.  A cold wet Sunday morning.  I was trying to rush out the door to attend the second day of a photography workshop. Another trip to the toilet – something really wasn’t right.  Hubby in a chuckle calls out from the bed, where he is cuddling and wrestling with AJ. ‘Maybe you are pregnant?’ I stop dead. Surely, that’s not what this is. Surely. We had been trying to conceive for over a year only to be disappointed every single month. Surely, I wasn’t. I slowly slid a pregnancy test out of my bottom drawer and wandered back into the bathroom. Sitting there, with the giggles of my baby boy in the background I watched the feint blue words appear ‘pregnant’ and a smiley face. I bought this particular pregnancy test simply because of the smiley face and yes I was smiling!

I spent that cold wet Sunday at the photography workshop feeling like I was alone in the room. I was alone with you. I spent all day cuddling you from the inside. Once again I was Two. And now we were going to be Four.

These are the days I will remember. The days I will never forget. The days I found out about you, the both of you and how blessed my life has been since then.

What moments are alive in your memory?
Do you remember the moment when you found out you were having a baby?

Conversations over Coffee linky opens again on Thursday ~ Conversations with My Best Friend ~ everyone welcome x

  • LydiaCLee

    My memory is terrible, I’m afraid. I actually don’t (though I do remember bits where people didn’t know and I had to make up reasons as to why I wasn’t drinking). I also remember with #2, moments when I thought I was but wasn’t, and that sinking disappointment each month. I also remember telling the dr that the tests were probably wrong with #1 as it had only been three weeks (he explained the tests were only wrong the other way, and never wrong if telling you you were pregnant). I explained that I’d allowed 6 months, and financially that was built into the plan. He looked at me like I was an idiot (I get that look from him a lot, in the kindest possible way, he humours me in a lot of my neurosis) and smiled, and said “You’re going to be a parent, you can’t really plan anything anymore. Someone else is driving now”

  • Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me

    Ahh this is just gorgeous and I love the pictures too. What lovely memories you have. The first time I was sat in my office at work and had a call from the fertility clinic. I had to be quiet, but felt like screaming with joy. The second, I did a test at home and drove to see Dave at work and tell him. I couldn’t wait until he came home. Brings a smile to my face when I think of it 🙂

  • Awww, my pregancy was a complete shock so I missed the elation of peeing on a positive stick. As I was reading my positive result my dear friend text to say he father had unexpectantly died a hour earlier. I kept the pregancy secret to support her but at one point she said, the other thing that kept her going was that there was a life cycle, for every death there is a birth. She is my daughters god mother because she helped me see the positive in my situation without ever knowing it.

  • Reading this brings back such happy memories for me too. We had been trying for 6 months, and my husband had just left to visit his parents, when I decided to do a test. When it came up positive, I could hardly wait the 30 minutes it would take him to drive to their house, to ring him!
    I could never have imagined the joy I would feel just seeing two little lines 🙂

  • Loree

    That was so sweet Josefa. Thanks for sharing. Yes, I still remember when I found out I was pregnant. It was June 2005. Seems like a life-time ago. Have a wonderful week.

  • I remember the day I found out I was pregnant exactly. We had been trying to conceive for a while and the month before we did fertility treatment and also went on a holiday. While on holidays I had to get a blood test to see if I had ovulated, I found out on return that it didn’t work. I argued with the dr because I just knew inside that it had. A follow up blood test confirmed I had ovulated. About two weeks later I still hadn’t got my period (which wasn’t unusual for me) and I eventually did a test. I’d been putting it off for over a week as I didn’t want the disappointment of another negative test.. One morning I woke at 5am to go to the toilet and figured I may as well get it over and done with so I wasn’t living in false hope any longer. I didn’t sit there and watch the dye run across waiting for the single line to appear. Instead I left it and went back to it after 3 minutes. I was completely and utterly shocked when I saw two lines! They weren’t faint either, they were two perfectly dark purple lines side by side as I had so wanted them to be for so long. I was in such shock that I had to wake Trent up to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. It was finally real. Now I have a gorgeous six month old (who is asleep snoring in my arms right now).

  • Yep. I remember every time. Each time in a different house. So basically I’m remembering lots of toilets 🙂

  • Beautiful post, Josefa! I remember when I found out with each of mine. The first one was unplanned and unexpected, and it was the morning after I had been to the Big Day Out in Melbourne 2004. In my mind it has all merged together, and every time I hear the Flaming Lips I still get flashbacks to that pregnancy test.

  • Oh this was amazing! Im only 13 weeks pregnant so Im right here in the moment! we went through IVF so it was a bit more ‘structured’ finding out but still an amazing moment none the less!

  • The Plumbette

    Aww Josefa this post is just beautiful! I only just had a similar moment like this last year when I found out I was pregnant with number 3. Surprise and shock were my first thoughts. I can’t wait till our little one arrives in July. :).

  • I’m tearing up here (GRR PMS) Seriously though, I remember vividly the feeling on euphoria when I found out I was pregnant, such happy times. I often feel a bit sad that I don’t have vivid memories of when No.2 was 2 because I had a newborn and I feel worse that I can’t remember No.1 as a baby much 🙁 BUT I’m sure I soaked it in at the time, but still! Thankfully now the fog has lifted and I can love every second without as much stress and tiredness x

  • I remember telling my husband more than the moment of finding out myself.

  • TeganMC

    What a beautiful story. I remember going to the hospital because the anti-nausea meds that my GP had given me weren’t even touching the sides. The doctor sat down and said congratulations. At that time the thought of being pregnant hadn’t even crossed my mind so I said to him, oh do they give out awards for getting a clean bill of health now lol.

  • Aroha

    lovely stories Josefa. We were traveling when we found out, too. We were in Rome and the test was all in Italian! Would love to go back to that day and feel that feeling again. x

  • Grace

    Well, it was the three of us 🙂 I remember the day perfectly. I called up Mr Surfer and he actually didn’t believe me! Despite me telling him what my HCG levels were! (i.e. through the roof!) Can’t wait to hear how your boys celebrate their special days x

  • Oh what great memories! I remember fondly finding out I was pregnant both times. Nothing quite like that moment!

  • Deb @ home life simplified

    absolutely beautiful Josefa!

    I was grinning at the first story as that was mine too for my 2nd – i was at my mother’s in NYC about to head to London to meet hubby for the rest of our trip “home” – he had gone ahead and i was traveling with our then almost 1 year old. my last dinner was chinese takeaway and i figured i was sick from the food. then i paused and thought “this feels familiar” and we raced to the shops to get a pregnancy test before heading to JFK – yep – i was pregnant with #2 and had to deal with exhaustion and nausea all through the UK and Thailand lol

  • The moments for each of my “discoveries” are burned on my memory forever. Still crystal clear – just like the test!?!?! x

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