Nine Months More


I have a little system I try to follow when I write my blog posts. Nothing ground breaking. I make an effort to post in my different categories so that the posts rotate and one category does not get more posts than another. Some of you may not even know that I have categories, but I do and today the schedule asks for a post in Nine Months More.

Nine Months More is my ‘motherhood’ category. If you can detangle motherhood from any other aspect of life, this is where those stories fall. Till now I have had no trouble choosing and segregating posts so the ones about motherhood fell neatly in line. On one hand today is no different, I have many stories and ideas that I want to share about motherhood. Yet here is the thing, I am starting to wonder what the real purpose of these stories are.

I worship at the altar that these stories are important to share, to unite women, to break down silent walls and to make everyone feel like motherhood is always a journey shared. Many a time I have come crawling through the internet to find an anecdote or advice on how to handle something I might be going through with my boys.

But the more I do, or perhaps I don’t, I am starting to wonder a few things. I grapple with the idea that it is motherhood at all. It is, it will always be. But somehow the stories are incomplete, surely they are stories of parenthood, Dad, grandparents, our partners have a voice too? Then I grapple with the idea of the family stereotype. The stereotype is not true for everyone and here I am rattling on about my stories, perhaps excluding others at the same time?

I grapple with the idea of validity of stories and how true they are in terms of time. One of the ideas I have for a post is Ditching Date Night and how hubby and I gave up on date night and have opted for doing something together each night, at home instead. But how long will that be true for us? Does it even matter? Is the story important regardless?

I want to write on the Unwritten Chapters of Parenting, the idea of Making Memories and how that influences our children and their view of the world, and yet I hesitate. I want to tell the stories of other mothers in my life. Those who juggle study and children at the same time. But are these stories that define life and not motherhood?

Recently I read an article advocating that the ‘mummy blog’ is dead. Now I certainly do not want to get that debate started. For one thing, I’m not even sure you can call this space a mummy blog. Sure I am a mum who writes on the internet. I am also a scientist who writes on the internet. I am also a migrant who writes on the internet. I am a person who writes on the internet. All are equally true.

Perhaps for me, the scope of this little part of my blog needs to change. Widen in its perspective and shift the focus a little before I continue to tell my stories of motherhood. Hubby has always told me that this part of my blog was for our boys, so that they could come back one day and read their mother’s words, see their past through her eyes. That will always be true.

But there is so much noise online. Noise, noise and more noise. The noise makes so much of the content feel irrelevant. Do I want to add to the noise? Is that all we can do? Or is there something more?


Perhaps the purpose of my stories is to accept that I can only control why I write them. And not why others read them. Perhaps there is a great lesson in that. Or perhaps this is simply more noise?


Conversations over Coffee will be returning. The last Tuesday of each month. Everyone is always welcome.
The first topic is Conversations with the Little Things. Need a quick reminder what #convocoffee is all about? Check it out here: #convocoffee


Linking up with #IBOT
Catch up on my last blog post In Our DNA



  • It is noisy. I totally agree with that. But just like there are so many bands we can listen to or songs we can relate to, the same can be said for our blogs. Someone out there will relate to what we write. Someone NEEDS to read our story/blog post to get through their day. I trust that the right people come to my blog to be encouraged and inspired. And I believe the same happens for you too. Keep writing Josefa. You have a beautiful gift with words. x

  • Rebecca Bowyer

    I think you write for yourself as much as anything. Your story will resonate for some people and be alien to plenty more. It’s worth remembering that we don’t write to simply be useful to others. We write to document, connect and make sense of the world around us. Keep writing and tell the stories you want to tell. They will find their audience. #TeamIBOT

  • LydiaCLee

    Online is noise but each of us like a different noise. So the mummy blog is not dead if that’s what you like, the fitness blog is not dead if that’s your thing and so on. Your noise may be noise to one, and salvation to another. That’s life. So if it interests you, do it. The reason you choose to do it, is irrelevant. Do it for you, do it for others, do it for money. The end result is the same. As for me, I’m thrilled to make some noise over Conversations over coffee!!

  • I agree, the world is full of noise, but just like who I am and what I do is only relevant to those whose lives I touch, as are your words. Very relevant to those who need them, who are looking for the similarities. Each of the millions of us in the world have a voice, and to many your voice is an important one to hear. xx

  • I am conscious more now than ever about not adding to the noise. It is why I simply skip posting when I feel I need to rather than forcing a post (like today). In your example of the date night post I think it is great to share things like that because they add to the discussion and offer options. Regardless of whether you return to date nights or not the idea is valid and helpful to others. I have lots of posts from earlier years of blogging that are no longer relevant to my life but someone else who googles and finds a post that interests or helps them is always happy to find it (why I don’t delete old posts). We are all at different stages of our journey so adding your voice shares your journey, insights and ideas. Xxx

  • I think it’s only noise if you’re not posting from the heart.

  • I’ve been having the same conversation with myself lately. I’m overwhelmed by the noise and don’t really want to add to it. I’ve been pretty quiet as a result. Not sure of the way forward. Need to get back to just being myself but probably need a huge social media free break first.

  • writeofthemiddle

    Oh I can so relate to this Josefa. There is SO much noise. Too much vitriol and shaming. I need regular digital detox time in order to cope and I have reduced the number of times per week that I post in order to reduce my time spent on-line.

  • Natalie @ Our Parallel Connect

    There is so much noise online and the noise never ends. But I am starting to whisper and feel my noise is getting its own real voice.

  • Sarah @sarahdipityblog

    Lots of great questions and interesting thoughts there. I think the main thing to always remember is to write from the heart and about what you want rather than trying to write content that you think you ‘should’. Same goes for what you read. I often try to keep up with reading and commenting on so many blogs but lately ice really cut back to reduce that ‘noise’ and only read what really interests me.

  • I often think about the noise thing as well – I really don’t want to add further pollution to a polluted internet. But I think if we are true to ourselves, then what we bring is always unique. And it will always touch some-one. I think heart is the key?

  • If it is important for you to say it, then let it out I say!

  • You’re right, it’s so noisy! But I think it’s like a TV programme or a book or a band, in amidst all the noise we find the thing that feeds our soul and makes us feel good, as my mum would say it’s “horses for courses.” I think you’re right, there is a lesson in what you see as the purpose of your stories, because you are “you-nique” and there will be people (and lots of them) who read them, and more to the point, need them.

  • I like that you recognise that you are all those other things as well as a mother. I feel there is more pressure on mums now than ever before. We are all judged harshly for our choices and I would like to drop the act that society seems to have us all doing of us being able to manage it all.

  • Yes there is noise. I have been posting less lately – not wanting to add to the noise. I always feel the duty to SAY something. I hope that my own judgment, for better or worse, stops me posting noise.

  • Yes. Noise. So much. I agree with you on much of this. More and more, I find it important to just write something that means something to me. I am still amazed people read it!

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