Nine Months More

I Believe in Angels

Be careful what you wish for.

The reality of AJ being seen at the Royal Children’s Hospital for his allergies and eczema was one of a six-to-twelve month wait. I wished it was sooner. Most mothers spend their lives wanting to keep their children out of hospital and here I was desperately wishing mine in.

AJ was six months old. He was upstairs with his Dad; while I came down to get the baby bag ready to go out. I was head down in the bag, making sure I had enough nappies, rompers, baby wraps. When I heard the blood curdling scream, “OH MY GOD, I’ve killed my son!” My mind reeled in shock and I felt absolutely sick. Hubby had slipped, coming down the stairs. Just like that. Slipped and let go. Let go of our son. They both fell half the way down – time stood completely still. I didn’t see them fall. I only heard the scream, the thud.

In an instant I was at the bottom of the stairs. AJ was on the floor. Blood was streaming from the edges of his mouth. I was primal. “Call an ambulance!!” I screamed over and over again. I scooped him up into my arms and lay him across my lap, hushing him, soothing him, begging him to believe that Mummy will make this ok. My heart wanted to leap out of my chest. My mind was racing. He won’t walk, he won’t speak, what have we done? What has HE done? For that moment he was MY son.

Quick, the ambulance was coming. Quick, open the front door. Quick, grab the keys. Quick, grab the baby bag, throw more stuff in, anything, throw it in. Quick, the ambulance is here. Quick, let’s go. Quick!

I was shaking uncontrollably, so hubby held AJ. He held him, rocking and saying sorry, over and over with tears streaming down his face. There was no wait in the emergency room, no forms to fill in. My husband was still holding AJ. He wouldn’t let go. They didn’t ask him to. They cut off AJ’s clothes and before I could even breathe my little baby was having a CT scan. I held onto the desk, onto the nurse. I thought I was going to faint. Dizzy with the bile that would not settle out of my throat, I wanted to wake from this dream.

More tests. With each result we learned that AJ was actually ok. Slowly came the calm. From such a fall, he only had cuts to his lip, inside his mouth, a bruised cheek and a very sore bum. We stayed in hospital that night. I held AJ in my arms the whole night. The anxiety in my heart dissolved with each hour that passed. With each hour another nurse came to check on AJ. To reassure me that he was ok. That he was very lucky. The regret and pain I watched my husband suffer melted any contempt I held for him.

A few days later I sat down to write to some of our close family and friends, to tell them what had happened and that little AJ was ok. I found myself writing that “angels carried our son down the stairs.” It was the only way I could explain him surviving such a fall.

angels, allergies, eczema

A week after AJ’s fall, a letter came. It was from the Royal Children’s Hospital. An appointment for AJ to see the eczema and allergy clinic had been made, for a few weeks’ time. Instantly, I remembered. I remembered the doctor on duty in emergency when we rushed in. Somewhere in the madness we spoke about AJ and his allergies, his eczema and how I was desperate to help him. Then I remembered, that the doctor said that he would try to help. He did.

My angels were busy at work that day.

  • LydiaCLee

    scary stuff, but they are amazing at Children’s Hospitals.

  • Sophie Allen

    omg I have tears! How scary. 2 of my boys have fallen down our stairs. Thank goodess they are carpeted, but that first moment was heart stopping terror until I know they are ok.

  • Oh what a terrifying story! It’s the kind of thing parents have nightmares about 🙁
    Thank God he was ok that day. I’m a big believer in angels too

  • Oh my gosh. Wow. My heart was in my throat through that whole story. I’m so glad your little one was OK. What wonderful angels you have 🙂

  • Enid Bite’Em

    I’m glad AJ is okay … and there are some really wonderful doctors and nurses out there … it’s always good to hear those stories as well as the bad ones.

  • Rita

    Oh my Josefa… What a story… I believe in angels too. They are living with us and they come to see us when we need it the most. I’m sure I also had a few episodes in my life where I met angels.

  • What a powerful story, you write so well. I am glad that the Dr was able to help you out. I am so glad that your sons angels were protecting him. That would have been so hard not knowing if your son was ok, I am so glad he was.

  • Meagan @ cider in the sun

    Oh my gosh, I can only imagine how you were feeling, far out, so glad the little one is ok.
    I hope his allergies get sorted out too xx

  • Oh my goodness – what a terrifying story. I couldn’t breathe until the end. I’m so very glad your son was ok. The doctors in the children’s hospitals are just incredible. So compassionate despite all they see and do, and they don’t become hardened. I think they’re the angels.

  • Catherine RodieBlagg

    What a scary experience for you all. Thank god he was ok!

  • tweeti

    I have stumbled across your blog a few weeks ago, and today I am in tears reading this. I know angels are at work too as they have been with my little one. Much love to you x

  • Lisa Barton-Collins

    Oh my gosh I am crying for you! What a terrible scare, and thank goodness he is alright!

  • Pip (@melbournelass)

    Oh my, thank goodness your story had a happy ending. I couldn’t even imagine the level of fear something like that would invoke for both you and your husband. It’s so true when you say ‘for that moment he was MY son’ – they hold a part of you inside of them that’s not just a genes.

  • A silver lining to a frightening experience. So glad AJ was unharmed.

  • Rach

    Oh my goodness my breath caught in my throat so glad that your angels are looking out for you xx

  • Grace

    Serious falls like that just make time stop as well as your heart. Thank goodness AJ was okay x

  • Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo

    Breathless reading that.

    So glad he is ok.


  • Beck

    My heart is racing and I have tears in my eyes as I read this post. I am so glad that your little AJ is ok. Poor Dad got the fright of his life, as did you….
    Thank goodness for those Angels who carried him safely xxx

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