The excitement is building in our house as two birthdays draw near. Two little boys are beside themselves, caught up in the eager anticipation. Amidst all the preparations I sometimes catch myself and think how I have gone from placing one candle on each of their cakes to now placing seven candles on one cake and five candles on the other. Despite time passing so quickly over these years, there are still some days that I will never forget. They are days that form a part of my soul and carve into my life both definition and purpose. The days I will never forget are the days that make me whole and I will never forget the days that I found out about you, the both of you.
Los Angeles, June 2006. I was feeling dreadful. I was sure it was the huge meatballs we ate the night before in Santa Monica, balls of gooey goodness that were the size of my hand. It took four to five bites before I could finish one. I was sure it was those meatballs that were revisiting me that morning. We were on a mission to Disneyland. We had a huge day ahead of us. So I really couldn’t get sick. Another trip to the toilet – something really wasn’t right. Back into the hotel room and a thought flickered through my mind. Flickered, like something darting across the room and catching sight of it in the corner of your eye. Could I be?
I plan for everything. Whether it is a party, a trip, or what I’m going to clean that day. I plan. So there was no surprise that while we were trying to have a baby I packed a pregnancy test into our luggage. I slowly slid the pregnancy test out of the luggage and wandered back into the bathroom. Sitting there, in the stark fluorescent lighting, I watched two lines slowly appear. Two lines. Two blue lines. Two. That’s what I was. I was now Two.
I still look back on those photos, that day in Disneyland and I smile inside. My heart swells a little remembering that was the first day I met you. The first day I became your mum.
Melbourne, August 2008. A cold wet Sunday morning. I was trying to rush out the door to attend the second day of a photography workshop. Another trip to the toilet – something really wasn’t right. Hubby in a chuckle calls out from the bed, where he is cuddling and wrestling with AJ. ‘Maybe you are pregnant?’ I stop dead. Surely, that’s not what this is. Surely. We had been trying to conceive for over a year only to be disappointed every single month. Surely, I wasn’t. I slowly slid a pregnancy test out of my bottom drawer and wandered back into the bathroom. Sitting there, with the giggles of my baby boy in the background I watched the feint blue words appear ‘pregnant’ and a smiley face. I bought this particular pregnancy test simply because of the smiley face and yes I was smiling!
I spent that cold wet Sunday at the photography workshop feeling like I was alone in the room. I was alone with you. I spent all day cuddling you from the inside. Once again I was Two. And now we were going to be Four.
These are the days I will remember. The days I will never forget. The days I found out about you, the both of you and how blessed my life has been since then.
What moments are alive in your memory?
Do you remember the moment when you found out you were having a baby?
Conversations over Coffee linky opens again on Thursday ~ Conversations with My Best Friend ~ everyone welcome x