The Kinnie Club

The Pomegranate Tree

On the concrete step of the back porch, sits a little girl. Dark brown hair tied up in pony tails. Skin sun-kissed from playing outside all day. She is only three and full of the innocence and beauty that being only three can bring. She laughs and plays, spending all day with her grandmother, her Nanna. In and out all day, holding onto her apron, cuddled onto her lap for a nap. They existed in nothing but happiness, where tomorrow simply meant more pomegranates and an afternoon nap in the sun.

The Pomegranate Tree

My grandmother. My Nanna. I was only three and it feels like it was only yesterday. The most important person in my life is someone I only spent three tiny years with.

My memories and the finer details of this woman are hazy. I do not know her favourite colour. I do not know if she preferred coffee or tea. I do not remember her voice or her smile. I have no memory of her passing. I don’t remember when it happened or how I felt. My family don’t speak about it. It’s just one of those things. I don’t speak about her. It’s just one of those things.

The Pomegranate Tree

Thirty years on and I can’t talk about her. I have never been able to. My throat swells. My eyes tear. I cry. She means more to me than many ever will. I do not grieve for her passing. I don’t wish for her to be here. Because she is. Her presence is absolute. Overwhelming. Sitting on that concrete porch, is as real today as it was then. But today, it means so much more.

I don’t speak about her, but I do speak to her. Almost every day. Almost every night. I have for years. She has never left me. Never left my side. Not even for a minute. I can feel her beside me. I can feel her presence in my house. There have been many moments when I knew that she was watching over my boys. It was because of her that I overcame many difficult nights. I have entrusted both of my boys in her care. In a way that is far greater than I ask from anyone else.

The Pomegranate Tree

In the quiet of my mind, as the day draws its last breath and night closes in, she is with me.  She is the voice I listen to.  I never feel alone.  It is because of her that I believe.  I believe that life is greater than this.  That life is more than what I can touch and feel with my hands.  That my life is only the start and there is so much more to come.

In my tiny backyard, amongst my terracotta pavers and two raised garden beds grows a pomegranate tree. My grandmother had a pomegranate tree in her backyard. “She loved her pomegranate tree”, Mum said. I love pomegranates. It makes sense why.

In my tiny backyard, grows my pomegranate tree. I planted it for her. I planted it for me. So I could watch it grow. And change. It makes no sense. But I can’t live without that pomegranate tree.

Do you like pomegranates?

 

  • Lydia c lee

    Lovely post – great photos too. You’ve started a lovely tradition there…

  • Aroha

    oh wow Josefa. I have goosebumps and tears. This is beautiful. You certainly had a strong bond with her in those short 3 years and i’m so happy for you that you can still feel her with you. x Aroha

  • Mystery Case

    Love this post, just beautiful! Now following you via bloglovin’

  • Rebecca Thompson

    I do not like pomegranates ,but I do like this post!
    Beautiful. I felt the love, the awe, the admiration, the trust. I felt it all.
    Thank you, I now have a warm and fuzzy feeling 🙂
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

  • Sophie Allen

    I love reading your posts, I knew when I read the title that I was going to love this post before I even read a word. It is amazing what influence such a loving presence can bring and keep on bringing, it is just lovely.

  • I’ve never understood what it was like to feel like someone was still with you, even after they had gone, though I’ve heard lots of people talk about it.
    She sounds like a wonderful person.

  • Seana Smith

    Hello, what lovely words. I saw a lot of my paternal grandfather, we called him Papa. I think about him almost every day and all the wise things he used to say to us. He had a really simple faith in life and in people. Beautiful photos and thoughts.

  • Emily @ Have a laugh on me

    Aww that is lovely Josefa, I actually have never tried one, tsk tsk I hear you say. Lovely words. x

  • Author Bek Mugridge

    What a beautiful post.
    And it does make sense your pmegranate tree to me!!
    (+Yes I LOVE Pomegranates XX)

  • Grace

    Beautiful post, Josefa. It’s been over 10 years since I lost my grandma and I think her often. All it takes is one small connection with loved ones for it to be life-long.

  • Mums Take Five

    Beautiful post. I wish i had a grandmother that i felt that special and close with. It must bring such comfort to have her near always. you are very lucky.

  • Francesca WritesHere

    This is beautiful, Josefa xx

  • Mrs Holsby

    Stunning post, J. Simply stunning.
    I love pomegranate. Each little jewel sparkling until it bursts with a sweet/sour tang.

  • Robyn (Mrs D)

    Such a beautiful post. I had a lump in my throat reading it. I talk to my nana most days too. I also hope more than anything that my kids have the same bond with their grandmother x

  • Leanne Shea Langdown

    I had never had a pomegranate ( to my knowledge) but I recently found an apple, cranberry and pomegranate juice and it is FANTASTIC!!!! Love it …

    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  • I adore pomegranate, in the UK my work restaurant had this amazing grated carrot and pomegranate salad that was just out of this world.

    Beautiful post Josefa.

  • Rhianna

    What a beautiful post. I hope that my little ones will feel as connected to their grandfather who they only had for a few short years as well.
    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely

  • Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo

    I adored my Nanna. I sat with her while others arranged my grandfathers funeral and then 3 short weeks later I sat with her while she drew her last breath.

    I am so much like her it is weird. But I adore that.

    Lets hope we are fabulous nannas one day.

    x

    • I wish I knew my Nanna better. I really do. My mum is amazing with my boys, they wholeheartedly adore her – so it brings tears to my eyes to see the cycle continuing! And yes – hope we are fabulous Nanna’s too – how could we not be?!

  • Loree

    How funny, or perhaps not, pomegranates remind me of my Nanna too. She would peel them for me, every autumn. They are not my favourite reuit, but they remind me of her. Not that I can ever forget her. Your post made me cry. For all the good reasons.

  • What a beautiful, touching post. How lucky you are to have beautiful memories and such closeness with your Nanna. I wasn’t close to either of my Grandmother’s. They lived in different cities and I never remember them as warm people. My own mother passed away when I was 15 and my husband is estranged from his mother for various reason. I feel so sad for my girls not having a grandmother in their lives. It is something I longed for and know they will too. All the more reason for me to look after myself and be there for them and one day be that warm, loving NannaI always dreamed of. xx

    • Jodi, what a heartbreaking story xx I have no doubt you are going to be an amazing Nanna to your own grand children one day xx

  • Had one last night actually. OMG. It was not good. Its like eating the seeds you normally spit out from an orange or lemon.

    (via FYBF)

  • Aleney @ BoyEatsWorld

    What a lovely post. I didn’t know my nanna but my kids already associate their Grandma with her strawberry garden and their Gran with her tomatoes. I can only hope they have such a beautiful connection when they are grown 🙂

  • Beautiful post Josefa, just lovely. My grandmother died in 2001 and she was my absolute hero, my inspiration. Even now I sometimes see old ladies and for just a split second I think its Grandma. It’s both wonderful and painful at the same time, painful because its a reminder that she’s not actually here, but wonderful because I get a second to see her face again and I know that she is still with me.

  • Oh my goodness Josefa. What a magical piece. So moving. I love that your grandma is with you wherever you are. What a special relationship. And yes, I adore pomegranates. I love that photo too. xxx

  • Martine@themodernparent

    Gorgeous post. My nan will always remain one of the most important influence in my life. And I only recently tried pomegranate and I was pleasantly surprised!

  • Beautiful words. We have had some really magical pomegranates whilst in Israel. so yum!

  • Maria Zantidis-Iliopoulos

    Your beautiful story bought a tear to my eye. I can relate to it as my “Yiayia” was very significant in my life. My best childhood memories were times spent with her. I feel blessed to have had such a strong and beautiful relationship with her. My family and I love pomegranates

    • Oh Maria, thank you for sharing this with me. I miss my Nanna every-single-day xx

  • Tiffany Ngoc Tuyen

    Hi Josefa, Do you remember the cherry rounds we made in high school and then eating them in my bedroom. I still remember everyone of them. Love your stories and beautiful writing as always. Love, Tiff

    • Oh Tiffany what a beautiful surprise to receive your comment here. Thank you so much for stopping by and taking a moment to write this. Gosh high school feels like an eternity ago! Hope you are well xx

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