Pieces of Me

Surrender

A new year and it feels like a barricade has gone up in my mind with a bright neon sign – “wrong way go back.” The imaginary hazard tape protecting the peace and tranquillity of the summer and stopping me from getting caught up in the crazy faced pace madness that defined last year. It is a weird place to be.

My year has started with Operation House. De-cluttering rooms, cleaning out wardrobes, getting new storage put in. It is one huge task and one huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I wanted to de-clutter the house last year. But work, life and commitments got in the way of getting started, let alone getting anything done. It feels good to have started. It feels even better watching the mess and chaos melt into clean space and order.

Operation Birthday is under way. AJ and PJ celebrate turning 7 and 5 within a month of each other, with AJ’s birthday now only four weeks away. Keeping my birthday-party-planning-anxiety in check is something I am working on. It is a little bit crazy how much pressure I put on myself when it comes to my boys and their birthdays. One day that may change, till then I will keep trying to balance realistic with awesome. Perhaps I need more of that hazard tape?

Surrender

I guess reading this it may seem that I am far from slowly easing back into the flow of the year; it may seem those birthdays and jobs around the house are keeping me very busy, but they are not.  Operation Surrender is keeping things in check and making sure that I am off to a slow start. I have always held onto life with white clenched fists. Plan everything. Organise everything. Take care of everything. It really does wipe me out. By the end of last year I was a walking shadow of myself. Dragging through the pages of one day and then the next, crawling on my knees through to the last page of the year, relieved that it was over. Not this year.

Life is far greater than anything I can plan or prepare for. Life is far greater than anything I can anticipate. Letting go of my need to always be in control, total control, is something that will be at the forefront of my mind. I will want less. I will need less. I will believe more. Believe that the universe has me covered, it always has. Listen to that inner voice more, allow it to keep me in a place where I continue to trust that it is taking care of me and always has taken care of me. I will surrender to expectations, especially my own.

So I am trying to fill my days with more pauses, more moments of appreciation and less anxiety. I am trying to switch off from the things that drain my energy and instead focus on those that fill me with energy. I am trying to surrender to faith.

Surrender

How have you started your year? Have you started as you mean to go?
What do you hope for this year?

  • LydiaCLee

    No, I’m still on holidays (sort of). I’m waiting for the year of the Horse to start then everything will start over. Which is missing the point of your post entirely, but that’s what I’ve decided.

    I love this quote tho “Life is far greater than anything I can plan or prepare for. Life is far greater than anything I can anticipate.” A good little mantra.

  • I started my year with a goal holiday. I planned to not make any real goals or plans until school goes back in February but the universe has other ideas and one opportunity after the other has forced me into action. The latest ‘project’ is on the blog now and is guaranteed to kick more than a few goals quickly.

  • Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me

    I am glad you have been taking the time to slow down and focus on living life. It sounds like you were terribly exhausted and overworked toward the end of last year. I’m glad you recognised the signs and have been changing your focus a little. I spent a little time in our short xmas break doing some of those things you are doing, like decluttering, and it felt good. I didn’t take a long enough break though. I was excited to leap into the year and go gangbusters on the blog, and now I feel I’m exhausted already. It is hard for people like us who always need to be in control. It’s hard to loosen our grip held tightly on the reins. As my cruisy husband would say, it’s all a learning curve kid. We’ll get there in the end 🙂

    Have a great week xx

  • Lovely. I’m trying to slow down as well, and not commit to so many things. Just give myself a break every now and then!

  • bodyandfeetretreat

    I think we could all do with some slowing down. I know that I have noticed on a Saturday afternoon once the open house is over and the house is all tidy and spic and span and the garden is looking nice, it’s lovely to just lie on the swing chair outside with my book and read and doze because I know there is nothing to do until the open house on Sunday.
    We did some de-cluttering before putting our house on the market but, when it sells and we move, there is more that will happen. K and I have both been through our cupboards and got rid of those clothes we are not going to wear again – A, not so much !!!
    Good luck with Operation Surrender.
    Have a great week !
    Me

  • well my new year started with trying something new – stand up paddle boarding – and crossing off a bucket list item – seeing Roger Federer play IN PERSON! Then I got accepted into uni for my masters degree. So so far 2014 is looking promising! I am sure your boys will have amazing parties – i’ve seen your work for previous birthdays and they’re nothing short of pinterest-worthy! xo

  • AParentingLife

    My year has not gotten off to the start I thought it would in so many ways. There were so many little things I thought I was going to start doing that I still haven’t made the time for. Sigh.
    Sending lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses your way lovely lady.

  • Meagan @ Cider in the Sun

    Josefa – i LOVE THIS!

    “So I am trying to fill my days with more pauses, more moments of appreciation and less anxiety. I am trying to switch off from the things that drain my energy and instead focus on those that fill me with energy. I am trying to surrender to faith.”
    This is what I am all about, this is what I want everyone to be about. To take it all in, to breathe, to find some balance and harmony.
    Sounds like a most amaizng strat to the year.. I am all guns a blazing over here. Many projects planned, many spiritual pauses planned. It is going to be one amazing year!
    x

  • rhian @melbs

    Really enjoyed reading this. I am taking the time to stop and enjoy my newborn baby and remember every little thing, I am in no rush for her to move onto the next milestone and the next, impatient for her to ‘progress’ to the next stage. I am cherishing every second and that is how I mean to continue this year. Lots of cuddles for her and her big brother. X

  • Love the idea of consciously inserting more pauses into your day! I have found it tough to get back into the swing of things after taking a couple of weeks off over Christmas but I think I’m getting there.
    I am a big list junkie and have found going out and buying a nice diary so I can make my lists and tick (some of my) items off each day is giving me the kick-back I need to get into full swing. I’m also trying to fit in a bit more yoga and moments of peace so hopefully I can strike a good balance. Thanks J – good luck with the birthdays! (My three are all in September so that’s crazy time around here.)

  • Bec | Mumma Tells

    Slowing down and making time to pause… I need to take a leaf out of your book! This year I was hoping to be guided by ‘clarity’… but chaos seems to have joined the journey already! Although at least it is clear to me that I’m needing to take a step back and breathe… just a little.

  • Lee-Anne Walker

    Lovely, just lovely. We must constantly plan for more pauses or a ‘pauseless’ life intrudes.

    I like the juxtaposition in your photo – the little unicorn beside the adult pleasures – tea and a book, and the diary… 🙂

  • I’m still in Operation Declutter until February when it turns into Frugal February. It is rewarding being more organise and regaining a bit of control but I am trying to be mindful to draw the line somewhere so I don’t become a control freak. Loved reading this!

  • I made a list about not making lists lol
    Decluttering sounds fabulous, I would love new storage, enjoy!

  • I found that by the end of last year I was really run down and not quite myself either. Just busy.
    Now I feel a bit as if that was nothing on what this year has in store. I’ve had to hit the ground running and put that faith into practice.

  • Wow, lots of ‘operations’ happening in your world! This year I decided not to have any resolutions or list of things to do because I’ve always been so tied up on doing that in the past and would always get disappointed when it didn’t happen. So I’ve started the year pretty much just taking each day as it comes, not worrying too much about what has to get done and doing it when I have the time and focusing on what I enjoy doing most – being with my husband, son and writing!

  • TwitchyCorner

    I hear you! I hope you do stick to your resolve though, because busy people who like control- well they’re used to being busy and in control. I also want this year to be different, better and more balanced but school holidays isn’t exactly the time to look for order now, is it? xx

  • TeganMC

    I hope that your year is more relaxed than last year. I feel like the days are slipping away from me, always waiting for the better day that seems to never come. I have started to put things into place though that will make that better day come a lot sooner.

  • I’m making 2014 my year to organise all the things in my house I keep putting off!
    I am sure whatever you do for your boys birthdays it will be amazing and fun, as long as you spend the day together! 🙂

  • Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad

    It’s good to aware of needing to pause and take notice of the sweet things. I tend to get busy and get all wound up with anxiety and fatigue and nothing can work from that place. I hope that you can find a way to function at a much steadier pace and certainly de-cluttering is such a great start to free up space in the house and mind! I’m trying to do the very same thing but it’s a hard task with a 3 year old and 7 month old, but slowly does it. Let’s kick off the year the right way!

  • This is lovely Josepha. I have similar thoughts for this year, I am wanting to keep things simple, taking time out to enjoy my family and be grateful for what I have. I
    wish you a wonderful year x

  • Although I enjoyed the Christmas break and summer holidays, I think deep down I am a creature of habit because I am happy to be back into the swing of things again. I love my life!

  • The Plumbette

    My year has started with a bad bout of morning sickness which has started to subside this week. I want to enjoy life more and learning to let go of being super organized and just enjoy each stage of life as it comes. Well done on the decluttering… I need to do the same.

  • De-cluttering sounds like heaven to me making more space to breathe. I like your new year attitude in taking things slow I hope this stays with your for 2014. I love how you say the universe has you covered, this we need to trust.

  • I think I have started a bit too hastily for my liking. A lot of things have gone wrong and therefore I have had to jump back into work to pay for them!

  • Deb @ home life simplified

    we have been decluttering like mad, reorganizing the house and finally even swapped one child with the playroom which has made a huge difference. we are setting up the house better for us to enjoy and that feels nourishing which is my word. i love your words on surrender. it is a big part of my journey as well. xxx

  • Ahh, decluttering – good for the house, mind and soul! I’ve had a slow start to the year. Only just figuring out now what my goals/wishes are for 2014 x

  • Rita @ The Crafty Expat

    Hello Josefa! I had a lot of ups and downs last year and I’m still trying to figure out what this year is all about… But, starting the year with the word faith can only be a good start!
    My parents have left and I’m catching up on blogging this week. I just wanted to stop by to wish you a Happy New Year 2014! Good health, happiness and success in all your projects! All the best!

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