Pieces of Me

Happily Ever After

I had the dream wedding. The fairy tale. The extravagance. For two years I consumed my time, my mind and my every essence with preparing for the “big day”. I had a team of supporters. I needed a team. My family. My in-laws. My cousins. The excitement was contagious. The momentum unavoidable. I was young and I knew what I wanted.  There was very little stood in the way of my dreams becoming my reality.

Bride, veil, wedding day

I became the Bride. Picture perfect . Perhaps I was not as tall as the models in the magazines, but certainly full of the glow and radiance only a white dress, veil and diamonds can bring. Diamonds, oh diamonds. They are still the pain in my side. But I’ll leave that for another time.

The details were meticulous. I read every magazine. I searched every internet site. Looked for every possibility. I went to bed dreaming of phalaenopsis and woke up thinking of shades of purple and butterflies. I scampered across Melbourne to source the best fabrics, the best designers, the best photographers, the best videographers. There was not one thing I went without.

The big day came and it was exhilarating. Exceptional. Surpassed even my wildest dreams. Yes, in every essence it was perfect. Not one thing I would change. My parents were glowing with pride. My friends were still in shock from the theatrics of it all. I was complete. I had reached my dream, the perfect wedding, the perfect day.

Bride, veil, wedding day, pink

Bride, veil, wedding day, pink

So much energy. So much time. Planning and adjusting, refining and polishing. Making sure everything was just right. No time spent thinking about the next day. Or the next day. Or the one after that. Or the one after that. The thing that comes after a wedding. The marriage. No, not one minute was spent thinking about being married and what that would mean. No planning. No attention to meticulous detail. I didn’t read one magazine or scour one internet site. The day after the wedding meant rest, sleep and a long deserved break on my honey moon. Not once did I think about what it would mean to be someone’s wife.

Bride, veil, wedding day

Poor little Alice. All glammed up in my wedding dress and veil. There I was staring down the rabbit hole, about to fall in.

  • Beautiful wedding photos. And what a poignant point you make… Parenting is another passage we never quite prepare for. My wedding was pretty fly by the seat of your pants. But I have had an awesome marriage so far.

  • LydiaCLee

    You look fab! And you have piqued my interest on the diamonds (I have issues with diamonds so if they were fake, you have a clean conscience!) – do share the story there please. As for me, I’d take the marriage over the wedding anyday…loved mine, but my family and inlaws provided much stress insisting on things, so I felt the ‘us against them’ from the beginning, and focused on the honeymoon – just had to get thru that day to go off together alone. And glad he is the other part of the ‘us’

  • I think one of the best things we did during our wedding preparation was our pre marriage relationship counselling. It made me really think about some things, helped us resolve others and has probably made us stronger through some difficult times

  • How very true, so much emphasis on the wedding day an not so much on the after part. I planned mine in all of 6 months from date set to day of, pretty low key but beautiful nonetheless. We did however live together for years before and feel like marriage is just an extension of our lives already together.

  • I love this post. I think so many people are similar. Beautiful photos. Rachel xx

    #TeamIBOT was here.

  • And what an absolutely stunning bride you made x

  • Lee

    You were a beautiful bride. I love your photos.

    To carry that elation through and forever be a “beautiful wife” is the difficult part! lol We are only human after all!! But, we do try our best…or most of us do! Just keep putting your best foot forward, Josefa; you’ll get there! 😉

    I never wanted all the “big fuss and to-do”…a big fancy wedding and all that goes with it was never on my agenda, even when I was a little girl. It’s a personal, individual thing, of course.

    Throughout the years when I was cooking professionally, I catered for many, many weddings; more than I can remember; so I shouldn’t scoff at them…they helped pay my wages!

    But as you say…the hard work comes afterwards…and the hard yards have to be put in whether one has had a big wedding with all the bells and whistles or not.

  • Gorgeous photos, and beautiful words. I remember spending a lot of time thinking about and planning my wedding too. I think it’s inevitable when you have a long engagement. About 6 months before the wedding though, when all the plans fell down and I had to scramble to find a new venue my Mum told me that in the end it won’t matter what happens on the day, what you will remember are the days afterwards, years, and that it would. Be more important to make those perfect. I still remember that and try my best to make these days perfect. The wedding was awesome, and everything wasn’t perfect, but despite the ups and down the marriage has been.

    • i think all brides should stop and think – even for a moment – that the marriage is so much more important the day

  • Lyndal

    oh my! you were, you are absolutely gorgeous!!


  • bachelormum

    Beautiful images – what an incredible moment. I’ve not been married … i’ve not been game I guess. I hope u are ok darling.

  • Simone Scoullar

    What beautiful photos, you were definitely the stunning bride. I was probably one of those rare women who didn’t really give much thought to my actual wedding day. I actually let my Mum organise a lot of it. But I loved every minute of my day because I was marrying my best friend and the love of my life.

  • Rita

    You looked beautiful! But this is so true, many women give too many thoughts about the day not thinking that this is actually the first day of a totally new life…

  • Just gorgeous! One perfect day. That’s not what it’s all about, is it?

    • ten years ago, i knew nothing better than to think it was
      how things have changed and thankfully so

  • Gorgeous photos. You look exactly as a bride should on her wedding day.
    I had a lovely wedding. It was rather simple, not flashy in the slightest. I loathe being the centre of attention so I tried to play it down as much as I could. It may have been my ‘big day’ but I didn’t want everyone watching! The marriage lasted 13 years, mostly very long ones. My divorce 10 years ago was rather simple, I played it down as much as I could. My marriage kind of ended the way it started, but with two little people involved. *Sigh*

  • AllisonTaitWriter

    Those images are just lovely. x

  • Wow. What beautiful pictures Josepha. My first wedding was the big white wedding but I was young and niaive and hadn’t finished maturing. My second wedding meant so much more. It was simple, light hearted, no bridesmaids or groomsmen, and a small cocktail reception. It was perfect. And a lot more thought went into the ‘after’ too. No matter what anyone says, marriage changes the dynamics of a relationship. And that can sometimes be hard to adjust to.

  • workingwomenaustralia

    It is so easy to get caught up in teh wedding that we forget about the ‘happily ever after’. You made a gorgeous bride xx

  • I remember someone telling me: “It doesn’t matter what happens on the day. As long as you get married.” Such true words.
    You look absolutely stunning, Josefa.
    Ronnie xo

  • You could not have been more stunning.
    I was the opposite. I’d have eloped had I been able to. I didn’t want the big day. I wanted the man. I wanted to just be married to him. To start our lives.
    Still. I wish I’d had more of a wedding that reflected us instead of our mothers. 🙂 Telling them you’re not that invested in the details does tend to make them take over.

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