Pieces of Me

Free Falling

Sometimes I wonder just how much control we have over our lives. The scientist in me calls to reason and logic and begs for control over almost everything in our lives, if not everything. But the dreamer in me believes otherwise. This year started with a new mantra. I started this year being open to all possibility. It may seem insignificant, but for me, it means letting go of control and just flowing.

I wholeheartedly believe that I exist in a world where I am part of something greater, something more divine. Call it what you will; God, the Universe, eternal Love, it really doesn’t matter what the name is. For me it means being connected to a greater being and a greater purpose. So, in saying that I am open to all possibility, I guess I was relinquishing what I thought I had control over to that greatness.

So here I am, balancing anxiety, control and possibility. Trying to quieten my mind to allow possibility in and keep the shadows and voices at bay. Is it working? Has anything changed? I think it has. I really feel that the flow of my day, of life, is more organic. It feels as if each day comes with a new path to wind down and so far, even when I think that nothing is going right, it is all going perfectly fine, more so than it did last year, or any year before that.

Free falling

Where I once used to agonise over getting everything done, having everything line up perfectly and super gluing everything down to a rigid timetable, I am slowly realising that the more I let go of, the more that things fall into place on their own, in a way that works and that I can handle. Even falling down the stairs at work a week ago, and dealing with the physical fallout, has let me see that it too was an opportunity, an opportunity to slow down and take stock. And with Operation AJ Birthday only around the corner, I am still getting everything done and even enjoying the process.

Maybe you could argue that letting go is nothing new and that I have not changed. You could say that whether I am open to it or not, life is always full of possibility. I think for me the difference is the way I receive the possibility. I once was only able to see possibility that I wanted, perhaps even only possibility that was lusted for by my ego. Then I shifted to a place where I felt that I deserved possibility. That my hard work, determination and drive deemed me the right to have the possibility, perhaps again only driven by my ego and its need for self worth. Now I feel that I am worth possibility. Not because I am superior to others or because my hard work and persistence is better than others, but because I am connected to, and part of, a greater sense of being and purpose. I am worthy of the possibility that life and the Universe has to offer because it is part of the greater good of life and this existence. I was born with this worth, we all were and I am learning to believe in it again.

I feel as if somehow I am now free falling through my days, where being open to all possibility is something I offer up to the Universe in place of my once cry for help.

Are you free falling through your days?
Do you want, deserve or feel worthy of life’s possibilities?

  • Life Living

    This is something I am struggling with. I am trying so hard to relax and let go, but I always seem to claw back to control. Not sure why, but your post has given me the inspiration to try again xx

  • Leanne Shea Langdown

    Great post Josefa.
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  • LydiaCLee

    Free falling at the moment – are reactionary rather than organised. Just discovered I have too many kids at too many schools and they all seem to have clashes of events timed at exactly the same time.

  • Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me

    Really thought provoking post. I approach life at the moment with plenty of structure and routine. It’s what gets me by with young kids and juggling work and the blog. I would like to loosen my reins on control a little though and see what happens when I don’t have everything planned. I hope this will happen in our upcoming holiday. Sorry to hear about your fall. I hope it wasn’t too bad. Good luck with opening yourself up to possibility. It sounds like your new attitude is changing things for the better. I can feel the calm through your words.

  • I am a lot less ruled by structure and routine than I used to, although I do feel calmer when things fall into place, however that happens. Lovely post Josefa that I can really relate to. I’m going through something where I need to make some tough choices, maybe I don’t? Maybe I should just free fall and let things fall into place.

  • Josefa, I LOVE that post. It’s funny how things sometimes show up just when you need them. I feel like I am holding on too tight to everything at the moment, and nothing is really going as it should. Thanks for this reminder to just let go and believe things will happen anyway – because they do. Thank you. xx

  • I love routine, but also like to go with the flow. So my life is just one big contradiction! I like to think the important things get done when they should, and all the other stuff falls into place.
    Thanks for making me think more about this Josefa x

  • Kaz @ MeltingMoments

    I think I would benefit from more structure in my day. I think with baby no 2 arriving I will be forced into more routine. Thanks for a great post!

  • Rebecca Thompson

    I am in the very same place. I am a little lost in it all I have to admit, but I haven’t been ill for a few weeks now and that has to be an incredible bonus.
    What are you doing differently that allows your ego not to interfere?

    • Honestly, my ego has had a very loud voice, for a very long time – lately I have literally been telling it to “shut up” and blocking out the noise and the dribble that it spews out. Then I pause and breathe in and tell myself that I am open to possibility, I am worth the possibility – it doesn’t always work and I certainly was in a spin yesterday, but I am not giving up and I keep at it xx

      • Rebecca Thompson

        Yes, it is dribble that spews out isn’t it!
        Ok, so pause, breathe and remind yourself that you are open to possibility and worthy of it 🙂

  • Nikki@Wonderfully Women

    I am not quite where I want to be yet, my damn ego is so powerful and proving rather difficult to tame. But I am getting closer and I can feel some positive change creeping in. The universe wants to deliver, we just have to master allowing…..I am on it, and so are you! 🙂 xxx N

  • Kathy www.yinyangmother.com

    Lovely Josefa – you are so right. Your belief now comes from a place of acceptance and gratitude for what you have – which I reckon are preconditions for us really seeing possibility in the many places we can find it.

  • I am loving hearing you sound so much more relaxed Josefa. It’s really showing through in the way you right.
    Love the idea of free falling as well. Sounds perfect to me xx

  • The Plumbette

    I try to live life with an expectant heart and I thank God when I get a great little opportunity or if something falls into place that I couldn’t have planned on my own. Life can be unpredictable no matter how much it’s planned and well organised.

  • I’m trying my best to free fall, although I suspect I’ve got a safety rope, a bungy cord and a parachute on board because the concept of “free fall” is pretty scary to an OCD control freak like me. Baby steps 🙂

  • TwitchyCorner

    I am relieved for you that you are now achieving what you set out to do- find some balance. And if there’s a dose of spirituality in that too, well then, a double-blessing for you. I didn’t know about the fall at work- how scary- so glad you’re okay xx #teamIBOT

  • TeganMC

    I’m free falling at the moment but not in a good way. I was actually only talking to my psych about this yesterday, saying that I feel like my life is on hold, up in the air and just waiting for something to happen. I know what I need to do, I just need to take the first step to do it!

  • In reality, there’s actually very little in this world that we have control over – so much of the things that happen to us are caused by the actions of other people. So it’s really better not to try to be in control, because that way when things happen differently to how you had wanted them to due to someone else’s influence, you are less likely to see the event as a negative one. That being said, I have always struggled with this too, but I am slowly getting better at realising that not controlling things means that many unexpected opportunities come my way.

  • I totally agree that if you make space in your life, something good will come along to fill it. You’ll be more open to seeing that something good. And, Josefa, there is NO CONTROL in life. I learned that very early on. Life does what life wants whether we line the ducks up in a row or we don’t. x

  • So very deep and very meaningful. I lost control after my third was born and felt like I was falling through life for months, then I kind of latched on to the idea of letting go and making sure I was in charge of my falling. And what is the worst thing that can happen right? xx

  • When things go “wrong” or seem a bit off kilter, I like to think the universe has decided I need to move in another direction.

    Though at times it’s hard to understand why, as you are stuck on the unappealing path I usually find I end up in a better, happier place.

  • Big questions! I like balance I think…a bit of control, a bit of random free falling, a bit of routine, but not too much. With writing and blogging, I put a lot out there and work on it constantly, and it’s all fun, but because I do put so much in so much comes out, and the Universe or whatever you like to call it certainly delivers. I have been amazed at the benefits of free falling in that sense. x

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