Earlier this year I sat in a grand old ballroom, soaking in the inspiration from a conference that shifted my perception on many things that I thought were steadfast in my life. As I scrawled more and more notes into my notebook I felt a sense of relief start to shift and in an enlightened moment I decided I’m so done with feeling guilty.
Boom – done – just like that! The juggle that is a marriage, children, a career and the general sense of doing it all – comes neatly wrapped up in a fancy bow of guilt. Sitting heavy in my stomach, guilt twisting over each day, I did not want to live this way anymore. So I traded guilt in for feeling empowered instead and the change in mindset felt – so good!
In the weeks that followed the guilt slowly eased. I felt energised by my day. But then, ever so slowly, something else started to creep in. While the guilt was disappearing, the juggle was certainly still there and I found myself in a constant battle to find balance. Trying to do one thing and then another and somehow keep all the balls in the air. It almost felt like I was walking a tightrope for most of my day, arms outstretched, not daring to look down, looking straight ahead and concentrating ever so hard to get to the end. That’s when it hit me, is balance the new guilty?
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