Conversations over Coffee

Conversations with the Mirror

As she stares into the cold, grey glass, the reflection is empty and lifeless. Her eyes are tired and heavy. The streaks of grey in her hair catch the light as it jars through the frosted window on the cold winter’s morning. She can only look at the woman on the other side for a fleeting moment. As she dips her head, casts low her eyes and turns away, she knows deep within that the mirror is the last place she wants to live.

The days roll into each other and with each one passing it feels as if another thread comes loose from the already thin jumper of her life. Her attention is divided, even on the best of days. The children tug at her skirt and pull on her sleeve. Their small hands, covered in the mornings breakfast and the remains of yesterday’s finger painting leave stained imprints on her clothes. Marks that fade with the ceaseless cycles of washing, but mark whose shadow will always remain. Tarnished and soiled. There is never a moment when she is not needed.

Conversations with the Mirror

Outside the world is set in slow motion. With each face she passes another conversation starts in her incessant mind. The cycle of these conversations are like the slow churning of the old, rusted ferris wheel down by the shore.

A woman walks past at the supermarket, nine in the morning, just after school drop off, two toddlers in tow.
She isn’t wearing tracksuit pants, she is wearing jeans, the kids aren’t still in their pyjamas. How can I not manage this?

An invitation pings in her email, dinner with some of her girlfriends, after work on Friday night – ‘we’d love you to come, haven’t’ seen you in ages.’
I can’t possibly go, I’m too tired, too exhausted, especially on a Friday. I’ll be falling asleep before our mains even arrive. They don’t understand, they don’t have kids.

Her husband reaches over as she is falling asleep.
I smell like bleach from the bathrooms I’ve just cleaned, my hair hasn’t been washed in days and I’m wearing my flannelette’s, how can this be enticing?

The mirror is everywhere.

Conversations with the Mirror

Yet, in time the conversations start to change. Her incessant mind is hushed by the stillness that she starts to find from deep within. The quiet moments she steals from her day give hope to the flicker of possibility that perhaps has been there all along. That ounce of possibility giving her strength to believe that nothing can stay stagnant forever. Time has not been working against her. In the weeks and months where she felt that time was passing her by, leaving her behind, time was instead patiently waiting. Standing back and giving her the space to find herself again.

On a warm, sun kissed morning she stares into the cold, grey glass. The reflection is no longer empty and lifeless. Trapped within that mirror is her ego. Cruel, twisted and a deviant of the self she truly is. She laughs. The all-knowing in her laughter shakes the very core of that ego. She no longer sees the absence of things in her image, her life and her choices. The consequences of her choices give rise to new conversations. Now she entertains conversations that inspire her to move forward and to stop looking back in that mirror. We only see what we want to see, when we do.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

 The next Conversations over Coffee link will open on
Thursday July 25, 2013 (7am EST)

The theme is Conversations with my Favourite City ~ everyone is welcome xx

  • LydiaCLee

    You should consider writing a book, or a short story for Overland – you’re very good. Also, can I say, you’re link up starts too late! I get up early to read everyone else’s before 7!! Will try to be a good commenter – but out and about today! (of course, this is for me, it probably suits everyone else – but you may not be aware of it, I’m actually the centre of the Universe.)

  • Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me

    Beautiful, Josefa. I get lost in your words. You have a real talent there.

  • Pip Macdonald

    Thought I was reading a short story for a second there. Beautiful narrative Josefa. When I read your first words I thought to myself ahh first thing she hits on is the grays too. Thanks for some mind-fodder for a Thursday and the creative airwaves you’ve flushed away my cobwebs with. Sincerely Sometimes Pip

  • Pip Macdonald

    Feel free to delete this comment as well, but I wrote a post to join in with your conversation last night but the Linky tool doesn’t appear on my screen so not sure how to link – any ideas? It’s just a blank space and then underneath it says Link tool by inlinkz.com…

    • should be working now? I will schedule the linky a little earlier next month, thank you so much for writing a post xx

  • Kate

    Beautiful Josefa. Such a beautiful writing style. I look forward to reading your posts. Absolutely beautiful.

  • Rach

    This is so beautiful Josefa love your monthly link up xx

  • Robyn (Mrs D)

    Wow!! You really have gift!! Such a powerful piece – gave me goosebumps xx

  • Beautifully written, Josefa. As always you pain a very vivid picture with your words.

  • Josefa, I’m breathing in your words and letting them soak in to my soul. So true and so beautifully written.

  • Cat_BeLoverly

    I love this so much Josefa and have felt it all. A beautiful post. X

  • daddownunder

    You touched on lots of emotions that I feel day in day out Josefa. Mirrors these days are reserved for showing Max how much food has gathered around his face during his meal. I too see that Mum who is one, two or three steps ahead of me and wonder what I’m doing wrong. And my knee jerk reaction to being invited out for drinks is to quickly flick through my repertoire of excuses. I suppose parenting is no different from other jobs in that there are good days and bad, I have some days like the one above and some days I’m too happy to notice the bad bits. thankfully i have more good days than bad. Lovely post

  • You have such a gift Josefa – you truly do. x

  • Just adding my “you’re such a gifted writer” to the scores of others who know it. You truly paint a picture with your words, in ways that so few others do.

  • Up until a year ago I said NO to every invite out and they started drying up. The didn’t like the person I saw in mirror, I still have issues with appearances but I’m working on acceptance. Lovely words – Emily via FYBF

    • Acceptance is a hard thing to find in yourself, but working on it, that is always a good thing x

  • Leanne Shea Langdown

    Beautiful!
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  • What a beautiful way with words you have! xx

  • Lovely words. Thank you.

  • What a great piece of writing!

  • Lisa @ Raising Explorers

    Thanks, Josefa. Beautiful imagery.

  • Great post! Such beautiful writing. At the moment I don’t know what I see, I don’t have the time to look 🙂

  • Lovely Josefa. I love how the mirror has marked your change. xx

  • This was so beautiful to read XX

  • Thanks Josefa, so lovely to read 🙂

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