Conversations over Coffee

Conversations with My Best Friend

Slowly the sounds of the house would grow dim. My sister would switch off her bedside light, close her book and fall asleep. Sounds from Mum and Dad’s room would dull to a hum as they switched off the television and fell asleep. I would wait and then quietly I would slide into the corner of the kitchen, grab the telephone, dial the number and slip down onto the floor legs crossed and wait. It was the mid-90’s and during our university years hubby worked night shift at a petrol station, so for hours into the night we would talk. I would share hours and hours of conversation with my best friend, me in a dark still house and him in a quiet, empty petrol station. Separated by a mere few kilometres, these were the conversations that built our friendship and kindled a slow burning fire.

Yet, hubby was not my first best friend, far from it. When I was six, my parents moved into a new house. Moving into a new house also meant moving into a new school and while the thought of new teachers, a new routine and no friends frightened and daunted me, I could not have been more blessed. For living right next door to our new house and sitting right there in my new class was my new best friend. All the way through primary school, high school, university, as my bridesmaid on my wedding day and holding my son in her arms as she baptised him as his godmother, we have been best friends. But just as quickly as I can summarise our friendship in one sentence, that is how quickly things in life can change.

Conversations with My Best Friend

The last time I spoke to her on the phone was September, the last time we sat down to have coffee was last December. While I can profess that I am busy and I can try and convince myself that life is hectic and schedules almost impossible to coordinate, I know it is not good enough. That my friendships deserve more. That the people who I love and are important in this life, my life, deserve more. So while I watched the sunset over the South Australian coast over the summer I paused long enough to listen to the voice that so gently reminds me of what matters most. The voice that asked: when was the last time you called a friend? Not sent a text, emailed or clicked like on a Facebook status, but actually called a friend. Sometimes it is so nice to hear someone’s voice, hear them laugh, hear the pause, feel the emotion as the conversation melts into time.

That is what I did last week. I called a friend who lives interstate. We chat on text, we email and we like each other’s Instagram photos all the time. But I cannot tell how good it felt to hear her voice over the phone. How whole it made me feel. How grounding it was to just chat. So that is what I am going to try and do. Not every day, but maybe once a week. I am going to pick up the phone and call one of my friends, for no reason other than to say hello. Sometimes we look far and wide for the answers to fill the empty questions, fill the echo of loneliness, to try and ease the calamity. Yet the answers are often right there in front of us, staring at us in all their bare simplicity.

Conversations with friends, best friends or not, are too important to watch them fall through the cracks of life and social media.

When was the last time you picked up the phone and called your best friend?

The next Conversations over Coffee link will open on
Thursday February 27, 2014

The theme is Conversations with Love ~ everyone is welcome x

  • Renee at Mummy, Wife, Me

    I have been making a conscious effort over the past months to rekindle some lost friendships. (I’ve drafted a story about it, but just wasn’t ready today sorry). It is easy to get caught up in life, especially when you have kids, and to just drift apart. I had a chat with a friend in Melbourne over the phone the other day. It was only a 20 minute call but it brightened my whole week.

  • LydiaCLee

    I am terrible with phone calls. I have 2 I need to make to friends in need but everynight I crumble in a heap too tired to do it (times zones round the globe require a night call). Maybe today is the day…

  • Loree

    You are so right. It’s been over 18 months since I last called my best friend. It’s shameful, I know. We really do need to make the time to talk to the people who mean so much to us in our daily lives.

  • bodyandfeetretreat

    I don’t do telephone calls very well – I dislike talking on the phone although, I must be honest, once I start talking I find it difficult to stop. I really should make more of an effort to connect on the phone rather than texting – thanks for the reminder !
    Have a great day !

  • I love that line “we look far and wide to fill the empty answers” this is so true when all we have to do is make a little effort and call a friend. I am also not a phone person which has been difficult living on the other side of the world from many of my very good friends. However it is the true friendships that will be unbroken by time or distance. This i have really found out since living away. Not to mention the amazing opportunity to make new very close friendships. Thank you for the reminder.

  • It’s been a long time since I had a bestie, let alone called her on the phone. I have a lovely group of friends here and there and I love them to bits, but I’m not very good at keeping up with anyone. This is probably why I’m such a sucky blogger as well!!! x

  • A great reminder Josefa. I have a few very close friends that I see often – either at school, catching up or on the phone. I also have a close friend in Melbourne and we chat every couple of months on the phone. It’s so lovely to hear her voice find out what’s going on, gossip and reminisce.

  • Beautiful post and I am guilty of not picking up the phone!

  • I love this post. I hardly ever talk on the phone any more, I feel like a phobia, probably because every time I talk on the phone, the kids have a melt down. I miss my best friend in England.

  • I love that! I am a chronic texter. If I call a friend (other than my bestie, my hubby or my sister) they respond with “umm, hello?!?!?! is everything ok?!” because they know I don’t call.
    It is a bad habit and I will try to call people more too!!

  • I can’t remember the last time I phoned a friend. Actually I must admit after moving 22 times most of my friends are now 4000 km away and just online friends. Might need to do something about that.

  • TeganMC

    To be honest I’m not a huge fan of talking on the phone. I talk to my partner on the phone every night but that’s it. I much prefer to chat on FB.

  • Yes, guilty here! I really must make more time to catch up in real life.

  • Emma Fahy Davis

    Definitely guilty here. I even talk to friends I see daily via social media, it’s taken over the way I communicate. That can be a positive thing tho too, Facebook has allowed me to keep in touch with many of my Kiwi friends since we moved here and that’s really important to me. I planned my wedding over Facebook!

  • Yes it’s very easy to let friendships to texts/social media but a phone call isn’t that hard really. I spoke to my BBF since I was 12, who lives in NZ, for nearly 2 hours the other day, and it was AWESOME for my soul. I miss her x

  • Kathy

    Lovely post Josefa – we have just come back from a great holiday in Japan with our old friends (he was best man at our wedding) and we really did ‘pick up where we left off’. They live in Townsville and we’re on the Gold Coast, and we don’t see each other very often (the last time previously was briefly in 2011) and we don’t talk as much as we should. We all agreed to pick up the contact and aim for yearly get togethers. You are so right in saying we take for granted the friendship that is on the end of a phone line or a plane flight away.

  • You know, apart from Boatman, I can’t remember the last time I had a best friend. How sad is that? 🙁

    • DreamingOfMalta

      You are not alone. It’s the world we are living in these days. I think most of people’s best friend is their iPhone. We are moving away from social interaction to social networking.

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